music like dirt

As I’m too lazy to write regular music reviews I thought I’d pass the buck to someone else, and so a new feature is born, Parental Advisory. Its an irregular musical “Ask The Family”, where we give the latest singles, mp3s, and just musical curios to a family to give their opinion on. Hopefully we’ll highlight the tunes that span the generations…but most likely it’ll degenerate into a series of “I’m sorry but this just isnt music” type comments.

We need your help!!! Will you, your mum, gran, aunt, dad …. whoever makes up your “family” review some tracks for us? If youre interested then please leave a comment and we’ll send you some music to slag off!

Todays reviewers are:
Ryan, his mother, Elena and father, John all hailing from the picturesque northern English town, Carlisle.

Coldcut - Mr Nichols (Feat. Saul Williams)

The first taste from Coldcuts ‘Sound Mirrors’ LP, their first for 9 years. When Jon More and Matt Black played the melancholic bones of the tune to Saul Williams they could hardly have hoped that they could tease a better lyric from him. Its the story of Mr Nichols, a salaryman left on the edge, fallen apart and utterly empty. Will he jump?

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John: Is it established why Mr Nichols wants to jump? Could it be he had to listen to this rubbish!!??
I hate songs that have a suedo sentimental ‘talkie bit’, so to have the whole song with a suedo sentimental ‘talkie bit’ defies comprehension.

Ryan: I first heard Saul Williams when he was reciting a poem accapella to camera in the middle of a boxing ring. This presentation of his extraordinary talent for words was simple and effective. His solo work is the opposite, it features loud, fast and angry music which can never hope to sound as angry as his voice. They end up sounding weak by comparison. Coldcut seem to have recognised this and have backed his lyrics with quiet, trance-like and beautiful music. In places it sounds like some of the music Vangelis composed for the Blade Runner score (The pieces where he isn’t just ripping off Kraftwerk anyway). The places where they’ve made it sound like electronic bird’s song or the humming of robot crickets are truly wonderful. The use of saxophone two thirds through is also excellent. Perhaps the success of this collaboration would prompt Saul and Coldcut to do a whole album together, fingers crossed.

Elena: This would be better read as poetry……without the machine sound.

Arctic Monkeys - Mardy Bum (Demo)

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What can I say about the Monkeys that hasn’t been said already? If you’ve been living under a rock and havn’t heard them yet check out this link to download demos & videos..including their forthcoming 2nd No.1 Scummy.

Elena: Mardy what!!?? Bum? Well I won’t like this! You know how I feel about the bum word, but actually despite this I quite like the sound. (Even profanities can’t stop Elena falling under the seemingly irrisistable Monkey’s charm!-MLD)

John: Quite like this. Good tight band and nice quirky lyrics. Reminds me a bit of the Kinks.

Ryan: They’ve been called the new Libertines and musically this starts off sounding indistinguishable from them. Unlike other post Libertines bands the Arctic Monkeys have remembered to bring a tune with them, but it’s the lyrics and voice that make them a truly special band.
Like that other great Sheffield son Jarvis Cocker, Alex Turner has a talent for noting the profound and the mundane in the same breath. The way he says “Reet” instead of “Right” is the opposite of the hideous Mid-Atlantic accents adopted by some bands (I’m prepared to forgive Elton John). With most bands having one line on a whole album that stands out is a treat. This song brims over with them, and is just one of many they’ve yet to release. 2006 will be owned by this band and if they can keep it together the rest of the decade as well.

Juan Maclean - Give Me Every Little Thing

Taken from the highly acclaimed debut album ‘Less Than Human’, ‘Give Me Every Little Thing’ rewinds through Underworld and Talking Heads en route to Studio 54, riding roughshod over the most funktified bassline you’ll hear this year. The vocal line comes courtesy of label friend/producer James Murphy of LCD Soundsystem.

MP3 sample / MP3 Download

Ryan: I’ve only encountered Juan Maclean once before with a remix of the excellent Chromeo track Needy Girl. This has a similar sound, especially the bass. It’s not quite as simple and not nearly as much fun. The lyrics are pretty non-existent. It repeats “Give me every little thing” and “Don’t stop” about a million times. It’s very well arranged but it’s not the sort of thing that I would keep listening to. Music really needs to say something to me and this says little. However with this much musical invention going on I’m sure with a great guest vocalist or better lyrics this guy’s capable of great things.

John: Song doesn’t go anywhere, just repeats and repeats. At the end singer keeps on saying ‘don’t stop’, ….. is he a masochist? (keyboard player has obviously given a 70’s synth for his birthday, but does he have to practise it in my time?) Gets better after 3min 57sec.

Elena: Sorry can’t even finish this, horrid Noise! Does this even count as music?? (Thanks Elena, You win the “I’m sorry but that just isnt music” prize for the first “thats just noise” comment of many to come!- MLD)

Kate Bush - King Of The Mountain

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Elena: I like her voice, but not her, which puts me off a bit. The drums are also very over powering.

Ryan: As with any artist returning after such a long silence they find other people have taken what they started and ran off with it. Artists like Bjork and Arcade Fire have done things more successful than this. I find this track starts off sounding like one of Rosin Murphy new tracks. The way the drums kick in about a third way through is great, but then the guitar that crops up just after seems too heavy-handed against the subdued background for my taste. This comes from a double album so even if this sounds a bit average I wouldn’t write her off just yet.

John: Good song, I like the way it builds, shame it hasn’t got a hook so that you could remember it.

R.L Burnside - The Criminal Inside

For more on the late great R.L visit the “Diddy Wah” MP3 blog …. actually even if you don’t want to know more about R.L. visit it anyway…it’s a musical education!
You’ll also find three more R.L tracks to download and enjoy.

MP3 Download

Ryan: “Mum, Mum I want some milk”…great opening line. Thought this sounded like the Soledad Brothers on one of their better days, but apparently it’s Jon Spencer, which I can see. It’s a bit spoilt by the repetitive nature of most of the song (The guitar riff just isn’t strong enough to sustain it). Two thirds through it really kicks up a gear. Jon Spencer (I guess, doing his best Elvis/Iggy impression) starts trading words with R.L. Burnside. Jon asks R.L. for 40 Nickels and lots of shouting and swearing ensues. This part would be mind blowing live.

Elena: Quite like this. Sounds like good soul, but its a shame about the f words!

John: Way way too long, and not very good blues at that.

The Fall - I Can Hear The Grass Grow

Elena: This would be very good to dance to, after a few glasses of cider (although I think i’d need the cider to make me actually want to dance to it!)

Ryan: I’d been aware of the Fall for a while but had only really got into them when BBC4 screened a brilliant documentary about the band. I next saw them on ‘Later’ where Mark E Smith left a microphone feeding back to annoy Jools. That night they played new material from the now released album “Fall Heads Roll” (Perhaps they even played this). I was struck by the vicious and yet still pop sound of the band. So I was very excited by the new album. It’s fantastic and this track is definitely a highlight (Early Days Of Channel F is also great).

John: The music is good and even an improvement on the original(1967, The Move), however the singing lets it down badly, incoherent mumbling.

Ironweed - Down To My Grave (Audio Suspects Remix)

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John: Why doesn’t he just get on and ‘ride his train down to the graveyard’ sooner without mowping about it. However I can relate to the three people doing the lethargic hand clapping in the middle of the song. (Do they have branch-lines into graveyards in America??) (I believe its whats known as a metaphor. Just as the girl in the Beatles song wasn’t really getting a train to a Welsh seaside town, and Led Zepp didnt really use their stana stairlift to the gods! - MLD)

Ryan: I love the croaky sound that ‘Blind Dog Magoo’ has on this song. This isn’t his real name but he can hardly open the song with “Now, I moved from Mississippi about 1943″ if he doesnít assume a character because he’s actually from Manchester. It sounds similar to the conversational style of William Shatners amazing “That’s Me Trying” (One of my all time favourite songs). The EP that this comes from contains other remixes that brilliantly funky but this one is the best because it’s quiet enough to leave the voice room to breathe. It has that deliciously cheesy yet soulful quality of Barry White. Surely this is one of the singles of the year.

Elena: Reminds me of ‘Paint Your Wagon’, so I like this.

It seems 2005 is destined to be remembered as the year of the Monkey…..or rather The Arctic Monkeys. They may have only released one limited edition single, and this may only be third time theyve made it down to the capital, but the buzz around The Monkeys has to be seen to be believed. If The Daily Star is to believed, theyve just signed a 1 million pound publishing deal with EMI, and this gig was moved from the smaller Marquee to cope with the sheer numbers craning to see the “the best new band in Britain”. They could have sold out Brixton Academy, and no doubt will next time they play London.

So meteororic has their rise been that bassist Andy Nicholson suffered a nose bleed a few songs in. Off he scuttled to stem the flow, leaving Alex to deal with the few down the front that had the cheek to suggest that getting a nosebleed wasnt exactly rock and roll….”Shut it…he’ll kick your head in” or words to that effect.

The Guardian, bless them, worried that the young Monkeys need looking after if the hype is not to overwhelm. Commenting on “their barely defined features that make them look as if they’ve just been dragged, feet first, out of the womb” the nosebleed and the awkward moments that followed apparently exposed their archilles heel:

Arctic Monkeys look like lost little boys. “It’s a big place this, isn’t it,” muses singer and guitarist Alex Turner, all momentum gone.

I’d agree that after the nosebleed they did seem to lose their way a bit, not helped by a strange choice of running order. Kicking off a gig with your new single and then following that with your debut shows a certain bravado, but the downside is that the almost overwhelming frenzy that greeted the opening numbers went a little flat until “Dancing Shoes”.

‘Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor’
‘Fake Tales Of San Francisco’
‘Still Take You Home’
‘View From The Afternoon’
‘Ritz To The Rubble’
‘You Probably Couldn’t See’
‘Vampires Is A Bit Strong But…’
‘Dancing Shoes’
‘Red Light’
‘Mardy Bum’
‘Sun Goes Down’ (AKA Scummy)
‘Certain Romance’

Having seen and been blown away by them at the tiny Islington Bar Academy earlier in the year I was eager to find out if they could cut it in front of 2000+ fans, journo’s and the odd celebrity (Sean Bean, and according to Alex possibly that bloke who plays Gareth in The Office). This was without doubt one of the best gigs i’ve been to this year, but I suppose predictably it didnt quite reach the heights of the Islington show. Part of this may have been due to me opting not to join the bedlam of the mosh pit, whereas at Islington I was quite litterally knocked off my feet (a first for me at any gig), and at one point almost fell onto both the stage and Alex himself. Its hard to recreate the intensity of a really small gig, but sometimes the numbers themselves create an atmosphere that more than compensates for not being able to actually tumble onto the stage itself.
James Woodley writer of the brilliant Headphone Sex blog hit the nail on the head in his review:

The band easily have enough material to fill an hour’s set with quality stuff. Christ knows why they don’t ever play ‘Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts’… and ‘Choo Choo’, ‘Cigarette Smoke’ and ‘Wavin’ Bye To The Train and The Bus’ would all be better bets than.. well four of the mediocre songs they played in the middle.

Hopefully that doesnt sound too negative…don’t get me wrong this was a blinder of a gig, and judging by the frothing of the hacks its already added to the unstoppable phenomenum that is the Arctic’s takeover of UK music.

David Sinclair at The Times had trouble with Alex Turners “impenetrable Northern accent” but still gave them 4 stars:

2,000 or more fans crushed on to the dancefloor….to sing along…with word-perfect accuracy — and did so with lusty abandon. Although there were flaws in this performance, there was also a tremendous sense of destiny about it.

The Independant gushed over the “exuberant, smart and savvy band that write sharp, impeccably observed guitar-pop shocks”

The excitement outside the Astoria is of the kind reserved for rock legends. The Arctic Monkeys are the UK’s Next Really Big Thing. Like label mates Franz Ferdinand, this quartet have seemingly leapt into the limelight fully formed.

Xfm.co.uk hit the nail on the head when describing the unique atmosphere of a monkeys gig:

First you notice the screaming. There are kids screaming the lyrics. They’re dancing, arms around each other, chanting “Mon! Keys! Mon! Keys!” Young men drenched in sweat wander around looking dazed and hyperemotional. A quick scan of the room shows a mass of fists shaking, bodies leaping, mouths wide open - screaming. Sheer bloody enthusiasm. This isn’t a gig, it’s a youth movement!

Unfortunatly the “Youth movement” is to be tucked up in bed early tonight as the Monkeys are yanked off stage at an obscenly early 10.15. A gay disco already has first dibs on the venue!

They end with a triple whammy of future classics, first of which is my favourite Monkey tune, the ode to stroppy girlfriends, “Mardy Bum“. Best moment of the gig for me is the sight and sound of 2000 people singing the entire opening verse…remember this is a track thats only ever been available as an unofficial download. “Scummy man” and “A Certain romance closed out the evening in an anthemic manner, wiping out any memory of the saggy middle.

I’ll be disapointed if their new single fails to get to No.1, and while i’m in hyperbole mode get your bets down for next years “Mercury Music prize”….yes…yes..I know they havn’t even recorded the album yet!

The Monkeys are special, despite not being exactly groundbreaking musically, they rise above the Kaisers, and Libertines of this world.
The key to their genius is leadman Alex Turner, and for me most importantly…his lyrics. So often an afterthought, The Arctics would be half the band without Turners’ beautiful, funny, angry observations on everyday life. The obvious comparison is The Streets, but mixed with fellow Sheffield legend Jarvis. Its claimed that Alex’s unlikely idol is John Cooper Clarke, and the lyrics certainly share the Bard of Salford’s deft take on life.
Turner is also blessed with a great voice, stretching syllables like a young Liam Gallagher. He also has a fantastic ability to channel the electricity of their music into the audience, creating a communal experience. In the mayhem at the beginning of the gig beer was hurled towards the stage, and Turner had to duck flying booze on numerous occasions. However in true style he stops “Fake Tales” dead to declare “if anyone throws another fucking can we’re off”…before picking up without missing a beat.
Not a single can was hurled in the following 50 minutes!