music like dirt

“Poverty’s bad
War is bad
Racism’s bad
Well done, have a biscuit”

“I hope this doesn’t apply to tonight’s gathering?” Chris T-T mischievously asks as he ends his “Love Music Hate Racism” set with “Preaching to the converted” a song questioning the point of “Singing it out loud to a partisan crowd”.
The 99.9% white, middle class crowd sat around tables in the chandeliered ballroom of Bush Hall responded with slightly bemused cheers, well how else could we react? Just nod in agreement?

I bought Chris T-T’s 2001 album “The 253″, and then for some reason he disappeared off my radar a bit. Last years “9 Red Songs” though is impossible to ignore (actually im sure its not actually impossible..but its certainly worth not ignoring) its basically the lost peak form Billy Bragg album that Billy never made. He’s got the perfect mix of wit and politics to deftly handle this events very worthy cause, and the inherent awkwardness hinted at in the previously mentioned “Preaching to the converted”.

What’s more a good album is taken to an even higher level when performed live, with “A Plague on Both Your Houses (lyrics)” and “The Huntsman Comes A-Marchin (lyrics)” both highlights.
If you ever wished for a decent song about the Countryside alliance, and their fight for the right to rip small animals to shreds… no I doubt you did, but if you did this is it. Starting off bemoaning the closure of rural post offices, village stores and second home owning townies, a passing countryside alliancer might think they’d discovered something to play in the land rover on the way to the next march.

“Now the Countryside Alliance
We’ll call them ‘the cunts’ for short
They promised in defiance
That a battle would be fought
Then ignored the real problems
To shout about their bloody sport”

Of course no album of “Red songs” would be complete without a ditty tackling the thorny issue of Tony & George’s mission to piss off the entire Muslim world.

“Waiting for the liberation you trumpet from the rooftops
Even as you trample through
My house is on fire, no power, no water
But you think I should thank you….
A plague on both your houses
The house of money and the house of God”

As Chris would no doubt admit, an anti racism crowd was always bound to lap up such sentiments, but unlike most so called protests songs it has the benefit of not only spot on lyrics, but more importantly a fine tune.

Chris T-T info
Listen to live version of “The Huntsmen” here and download two session tracks - “The English Earth” & “Moths & Bees”

Buy the album “9 Red Songs” - Amazon / Piccadilly

Website / Myspace

And so to the headline act… Bush Hall, essentially a ball room complete with chandeliers and a stage plonked at one end is not the first place you’d expect to see Dan Treacy’s legendary Punk band “The Television Personalities”. Yet shortly after ten struggling onto stage comes Dan complaining of ill health, and quipping that he thought this was a “support fascism” gig. Ed Ball joined him, pointing out that they looked a right pair with matching acoustic guitars (very punk!)

I have to admit not knowing too much about TVP before I bought tickets for this Love Music, Hate Racism event. It may have been 11 years since their last record, but new album “My Dark Places” demonstrates that they certainly haven’t withered with age. The album like tonight’s performance is at times awkward, occasionally amateurish, but equally rewards the listener who perseveres. Dan is not a man who’s afraid to say what he thinks or bare his soul, and in every line of every song is heartbreak, loss, confession, and thank god a heavy dollop of humour.

Be sure to turn your mobiles off during the performance is not a phrase Dan seems to have encountered as mid song off goes a very loud amplified bleep bleep of a text message, causing him embarrassment, equalled only by the crowds amusement, especially when he reveals ” I don’t believe it…its my mum… I knew I should have turned it off”.

The new songs played easily match up to the old with “She Can Stop Traffic”, “All The Young Children On Crack” and “I’m Not Your Typical Boy” all superb. Typical Boy in particular has fantastic lyrics, and is sung as if a personal anthem.
At the end some one came out and gesticulated one more song, to which Dan enquired if he was saying one more or just giving him the finger. He also responded to most shouted song requests with an affectionate “Fuck Off”.

All in all The Television Personalities are well worth seeing live, and i’d definitely recommend their album, but tonight’s venue doesn’t suit them. Its not that Bush Hall is a bad venue, far from it, but the decision to put out large tables and chairs was strange, killing the atmosphere… I half expected to be presented with tasks, and puzzles so each table could group bond. Very Odd.

Television Personalities info
Website:
The Strangely Beautiful Website / Televisionpersonalities.co.uk

MP3’s:
All The Young Children On Smack, All The Young Children On Crack
She Can Stop Traffic
Ex-Girlfriends Club
I Hope You’re Happy Now
Excellent archive stuff (inc. John Peel playing them in 70’s) Television Personalities MP3’s

Videos: All The Young Children On Crack (Download)) / The Painted Word (excellent archive video on YouTube)

Buy: New LP/Single from Domino / Amazon: Best of / New Album

The considered opinion of most of the people posting reactions to The Guardian’s musical London Underground map(PDF) can be best summed up by Mr J.Bishop:

The most stereotypically self-indulgent Guardian wank I can think of, bordering on self parody. Smug, London obsessed nonsense. It’s got nothing to do with anything! There’s people like, dying and stuff. And where are the Arctic Monkeys, anyway…?

Personally I thought that while the map had a few glaring omissions, and having an entire DJ Shadow line was perhaps a little odd, overall its entertaining, a good talking point, and I might even buy a copy (available at the London Transport Museum Shop)

It also got me rummaging around my loft in search of another musical version of the map that I remembered from the now defunct magazine “Jockey Slut”. After rooting around a few boxes full of things that just had to be cut out of magazines for one reason or another I found it. The focus of this map is less adventourous than the Guardians attempt to cover 100 years of music, instead its focus is on Dance, with Techno, Breaks, Hip Hop, D’n'B, and Chill-Out lines.

Camparing the two: Here’s the Guardian version, with artists at line intersections being those that span many genre’s, eg: Coldcut, Bjork, and oddly The Fugees. (PDF / blog / JPG)
and here is Jockey Sluts much more underground dance take: Large version / Full page scan

The JockySlut one does have an extra line included (the Beats line inc. Coldcut), but none of the lines are the same genre on each map, and I’m not sure if I prefer to live at the Bar-Kays or Tayo!?

Which map gets your thumbs up, or which station names do you live at on both? Or alternatively is a blog about a blog of a pointless map from last week just too much?

Here are a selection of the most amusing objections to the Guardian map:

What is the point? Wouldn’t you have been better off doing something else? Sometimes you media people really worry me.

And of course the biggest beef…where is my favourite band!!!!???

No fall, pistols, joy division.
There is no mention of British Light Music composers who were fantastically popular in the 30s, 40s and 50s.
Too much Hip Hop, a map with no Joni Mitchell, no Oscar Peterson or Keith Jarrett, but Jamie Cullum? No Stooges or Iggy? Yet room for Snnop Doog Nate Dogg and Tha Dogg Pound?
Did Punk not happen? No Sex Pistols, Stranglers et al? And where are The Smiths? Surely a seminal band in anyone’s book?

One person did however have a good idea for a third version of the map (I know you cant get enough):

Surely this map would have been far more interesting, and actually said something about London, if you’d redone each station to mention an act who’d formed or had some sort of connection to that area.
E.g. Bow - Dizzee Rascal, Mile End - Bloc Party, Stratford - Crazy Titch, Camden - a host of indie bands.
Admittedly, you might struggle with Theydon Bois.

And the final word to Dorian Lynskey who’s “frivolous occupation and enormous salary….. I’d rather not have it rammed down my throat in technicolor and passed off as something with even the slightest entertainment or reference value. Gloom juice,” upset so many but entertained others. What on earth is Gloom Juice?

It’s been interesting reading all the comments. What surprises me is how humourless and indignant some people are. Of course it’s not the entire history of 20th century music because it never could be and, if you read the intro, it doesn’t claim to be. It’s not a reference work - it’s fun, or at least that was how it was intended.
Regarding omissions - well yes, it’s annoying that the District Line isn’t longer. By the same token, the Central and Northern Lines are too long so those genres are over-represented. Would I rather have included Tom Waits, Roxy Music and The Fall than Eek-A-Mouse or Tha Dogg Pound? Definitely, but the number of available slots didn’t allow it. I had to work within the confines of the map.

1. Oasis / Liverpool win European Cup for fifth time @ The Coronet

2. Anthony & The Johnsons / Gonzales @ The Royal Festival Hall

3. Arctic Monkeys @ Islington Bar Academy

4. Songs Of Innocence: Patti Smith Meltdown @ Royal Festival Hall

5. Iggy Pop & The Stooges @ Hammersmith Apollo

6. Kylie @ Earls Court

7. Rammstein @ Hammersmith Apollo

8. White Strips @ Hammersmith Apollo

9. Jamie Lidell @ The Scala

10. Babyshambles / Ed Harcourt @ The Garage