“To the window, to the wall, till the sweat drops down my balls
awwww skeet skeet skeet skeet”
Opened in 1951 for the Festival of Britain, and recently revamped for a cool 90 million, The Royal Festival Hall can’t often have reverberated to the sound of a couple of thousand people bellowing about their sweaty balls, but that was before George Clinton brought his laws of Supergroovalisticprosifunkstication to town. A hall full of mostly English people going “awwww skeet skeet skeet skeet” has to be one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen, and this being the internet you can always find a good online row over what the word means. I’m sure it’s all entirely innocent, and George is merely a keen Clay Pigeon shooter.
For the first 15 minutes, George is no where to be seen, and its left to Garry “Starchild” Shider to lead the funk with more panache than a 55 year old man in a large cloth nappy has any right to. Initially he teams the nappy with shades and the type of jacket not seen since Cameo’s codpiece was causing grannies to choke over tea time top of the pops. However the jacket is soon dispensed with and its just one man at one with his diaper and guitar, he owns the stage during “Funkentelechy” as only the original Cosmic John the Bop-tist can.
The place is so wrapped up in the wonder of “Cosmic Slop” that when George strolls on unannounced midway through, it takes a few moments before the place erupts into a 10 minute standing ovation.
As the Guardian observed “Clinton showed he’s still a style leader - rocking multi-coloured Evisu jeans, a neon T-shirt, gold hoody and hair that is best described as Tina Turner meets Don Letts“.
Pulling down the hood and shaking his multicoloured locks loose, he greets the packed and on their feet festival hall with the most charming, largest and warmest of grins. His grey beard, and shock of hair for some reason put me in mind of Harry from Bigfoot and The Henderson’s (Youtube), but that’s probably just me!
George and his P-Funk All-stars are not just visually brilliant, it’s the sound, the vision and the fun, as blogger Strawpig puts it:
“I’m not entirely sure how to describe it other than WOW! It was truly awesome. So much power and energy and fun and funk, the band were SO tight (despite quite clearly being totally off their faces in some cases). Easily one of the best gigs I’ve ever been too”.
Clinton’s voice was perhaps the biggest surprise of the night, his vocal chords seemed to generate so much power that if hooked to the London Eye it’d be less big wheel and more spin dryer. I’d not expected a roar with so much soul, while his spoken voice was more predictably baritone.
The show is very much in the spirit of James Brown’s ensemble style, only crossed with a touring theatre company, and then soaked in vat of something very trippy.
They even bring along their own “Bad guy”, Sir Nose D’VoidofFunk, dressed in puffy white fur like Snoop Dogg playing Huggy Bear. He’s the voice of anti-funk, with “Fuck George” daubed on the side of a large fake nose, and constantly appears holding up banners like “GEORGE CLOWN ASS”. Eventually of course, the funk defeats him and he clambers to the top of a speaker stack and shakes what his mamma gave him.
Word on the web is he’s also quite “buff”:
“Oh and Sir Nose D’Voidoffunk is HOT. THIS is the only picture I can find and I don’t even know if that’s the same guy plus I wasn’t really looking at his face (he could have one eye for all I care his body was slammin’).”
So here’s a shot for the appreciation of that lady alone.
George is certainly not afraid to share the limelight with each of the three female vocalists taking a song each. Hippy chick Kendra Foster had the crowd singing along on “Bounce to This”… “Everybody just bounce to this”, although my own lyrics were slightly amended to “Buy a bra… for gods sake Buy a bra”.
Another singer Kim seems to have received an online slagging for “destroying” “Red Hot Mamma” but I thought her voice was pretty good considering she was rollerskating at the time!
She was certainly skilled in the looking good in a one piece cat suit and roller skates department; I thought Ricky Rouse was going to have a seizure when she skated over him as he lay on the floor. Earlier she’d also excelled at standing in front of a large spotlight that accidentally shows the outline of your entire body through your very tight yellow dress.
Gene ‘”Poo Poo Man” Anderson (God I love these names) led one song as if James Brown was being channeled through his body, and another guitarist who’d come dressed as Zorro was on his knees on the front of the stage by the shows climax.
Then there’s Michael “Kidd Funkadelic” Hampton’s whose moment to shine arrived with the axe wielding monster that is “Maggotbrain”, voted one of the 10 greatest guitar solo’s of all time in a poll I just made up. It started chaotically with a bum notes on both drums and guitar but although some of its recorded subtlety was lost, the power of what is essentially a 10 minute guitar solo is still immense. He also displayed good ingenuity in employing his v shaped guitar as a makeshift towel rack.
After mass stage invasions, and as much dancing as the Royal Festival Hall can manage (i.e. not that much really) at twenty past eleven, three hours after taking to the stage the roadies resorted to dismantling the equipment while the band continued to lead sing-along’s. Kash, the lycra clad drummer took his kit being dismantled as an invitation to lead the crowd in one final chant of “WE WANT THE FUNK, WE WANT THA FUNK” as he disappeared.
Setlist:
Did anyone get one?
Funkentelechy
Up on the Down Stroke
You and Your Folks
Cosmic Slop
Maggot Brain
Red Hot Mama
Bounce to this
One Nation Under A Groove
Atomic Dog
Its getting later by the month but episode three of music like dirt radio is here, with some of the months finest music squeezed into just over an hour. Don’t forget to click on the artist names to visit their myspace or download page.
Anyone any good or want to have a bash at making me a jingle? Music like dirt radio is crying out for some, otherwise I might have to start talking (and we wouldnt want that). Send a jingle even its just you saying musiclikedirt or a full on composition (yeah who am I kidding) to the email.
The glamour and decadence of seventies Disco beats at the very heart of Hercules & Love Affair and the sleazy streets of Soho somehow seem a fitting setting for their London debut. Hurrying through the rain sodden streets, along Old Compton St - the capitals historical home of homosexuality - before turning into “Porn Alley” otherwise known as Walker’s Court with its XXXX shops and flashing “Live Sex” signs.
When Soft Cell wanted to capture the sordid essence of their “Non Stop Erotic Cabaret” album - example song titles, “Sex Dwarf“, and “Seedy Films” - they snapped Walker’s Court for the back cover. Indeed Almond once lived over the streets most famous venue, Raymond’s Revue Bar, his bedroom window looking in on the dancing girls and strippers as they changed between numbers.
The famous neon of Paul Raymond’s Revue Bar once proclaimed itself “The World Centre of Erotic Entertainment“, opening in 1958 as the UK’s first legal striptease venue. The doors closed a few years ago to be re-branded as the Soho Revue Bar.
As someone who grew up passing by on the way to the record store mecca of Berwick Street it feels very very strange to be going in… for a gig!
Inside is a world of wall to wall purple crushed velvet, it appears vast at first but as you take the walkway from one side of Walkers Court to the venue on the other, peering out over Soho as you cross, the main room turns out to be surprisingly intimate. It also still has dancing poles wither side of the seatng.
Back in April 07 I described Hercules & Love Affair’s debut as my most anticipated album for 08, verbally salivating at the prospect of Anthony Hegarty (of “and the Johnson’s” fame) riding a stomping Chicago house / disco beat. The place was understandably buzzing with the anticipation of seeing Hegarty in his new found role of Disco Diva, but perhaps it was a little naive to expect him to be out on the road with H&LA and as they took to the stage it was clear Anthony was still with the Johnson’s.
GEEZER MINNELLI
“OK I want everyone in the crowd to welcome us by shouting…. Hi-za Minnelli!” It’s a little game we play on tour explains H&LA main man Andy Butler, who, and I don’t wish to shock or “out” anyone here, may be ever so slightly gay. The diminutive vocalist Kim Ann - introduced by Butler as the ultimate “gay boy” continues the theme… “When we leave, you all have to shout Bye-Za Minnelli“. As befits a group born out of New York’s East Village club scene they are as one reviewer put it a “bunch of beautiful oddballs“. And they seem relaxed for their first London outing, with the bassist finishing the Minnelli themed crowd warm up in cod theatrical German “and when in Germany you must say unt Shiza Minnelli“.
Aside from Kim Ann, the main vocalist stepping into Hegarty’s shoes is Nomi, a stunning statuesque woman in the tightest shortest skirt with legs that only stop where the clouds begin. What most of the salivating straight men in the audience probably don’t realise is she was actually born a he. Me? Well obviously I knew she was a transsexual before the gig and at no point was I admiring her/his curvaceous figure…ho ho.
The rest of the band sport black tshirts with a Greek head and the word “Banjee” in large white letters (apparently a Banjee is a kind of buff urban hip hop style gay… think 50 cent if his “Candy Shop” only stocked chocolate willies.
Perversely they start with the piano led album closer “True/False” and over the coarse of this and “Blind” B-side “Shadows” it becomes clear that despite Nomi’s fine voice and dominating presence the rel stars are to her right. The two guys on brass or “My horny men on brass” as Butler calls them are simply phenomenal. Before the gig I’d thought the band might be a little weak live, but would be rescued by the presence and voice of Hegarty, but it unfolds that Anthonys absence is more than made up for by the live band and the horns in particular. Track after track outdoes its recorded counterpart, songs that appeared weaker on record transform into complete belters live. Its simply the clearest, brightest and most urgent brass sound Ive heard in a long long time! Stunning.
Some reviewers focused on the albums obvious reverence to late 80’s dance and 70’s disco, ignoring the sheer depth of musicianship and songwriting on display. “Blind” i clearly one of the anthems of this year, but its disco stomp is topped off with a dose of masterful lyrical melancoly. Nomi may strike a note of hope when she sings “When I was a child I knew, That the stars could only get brighter‘ but its the crushed idealism of the next lines that make the song.. “Now that I’m older, the stars should light up my face… But when I find myself alone, I feel like I am blind‘. Again the brass that sounded thin on record explodes live taking the song to another level.
One of the albums other highlights, the glorious Hegarty penned “Raise Me Up” kicks off a killer three song section, although to my mind Kim Ann doesn’t quite do the song justice. That’s followed by an inspired take on the Blue Oyster Cults “Don’t Fear The Reaper“, covered by the Beautiful South a few years ago, who knew it could be so effortlessly transported to the Paradise Garage!? Finally the song that first put me under H&LA’s spell way back in March 07, “Classique#2“:
“The opening thud thud of the 4:4 house drum, a burbling acid bassline, snatches of twisted vocal samples and I’m in heaven. Even better god’s thrown some classic Chicago house on the turntable.”
Nomi exits for a wardrobe change, returning looking pretty in a bright pink number for her duet with Anthony, “You Belong“. With the crowd baying for more its time to say “Bye-Za Minnelli” with one encore. The album’s littered with Butlers fascination with Greek mythology and closer “Hercules Theme” was by all accounts imagined as a chorus of women singing to Hercules. Its a fine end to the show, with the brass section given space and time to astound yet again.
And so its time to depart back into rainy London, exiting you nearly bump into the ordinary grey suited, maybe married men darting out of doorways, avoiding eye contact as their sweaty palms stuff paper bag covered copies of Barely Legal 17 into executive briefcases. A reminder perhaps that not all in the great gamut of human sexuality is as glamorous or as enriching as Hercules & Love Affair.
Setlist:
True/False
Shadows
I’m Telling You
Blind
Athene
Raise Me Up
Don’t Fear The Reaper
Classique (Change!!)
You Belong
Hercules Theme
Analogue Bye Bye returns with a rare competition to mark Epic’s remastered reissue of seven Sly & The Family Stone albums. They came out last year with 5 or so bonus tracks on each LP, but Amazon just had them on sale at less than a fiver each! In my overexcited state my purchasing finger was - like Sly himself in the very funny clip above - totally out of control and apparently I bought two of “Theres a Riot Goin’ On“. So theres an obvious competition prize.
Leave a comment or email to win my spare copy of one of the all time classics (including 4 bonus tracks). The winner will be decided by a fair but totally random method which I’m yet to make up.
Here’s a selection of some of the absolutly incredible music to be found on all seven LP’s. Essential purchases, especially at such bargain prices (the original boxset was 65 quid!).
Another rumage through my box of old Solid Steel’s finds shows from the first two months of ‘92. Theres no faking the funk with Fred Wesley, The Brides Of Funkenstein, Funkadelic and one of my all-time favourite Bootsy Collins tracks. Fantastically titled, “Munchies for your love” is packed with Bootsy’s trademark bass, chanted backing vocals, all topped off with Mr Collins in full on lothrio mode “hot for your chocolate love!”
Coldcut are in the mix for “Toast N Jam” a reggae/ragga selection featuring fu-snickens, Apache Indian, and Shabba. There are two more mixes in February 92’s show, “Hi Tech Skank” features KT & Hex along with Criminal Minds, while “Future Be-Bop” goes for the funky hip trip hop with DJ Food and Jungle Brothers who’ve always “Got It Like That“.
Lisa Stansfield was doing credible white soul two decades before Winehouse first picked up a crack pipe. As part of Blue Zone tracks like “Big Thing” became Warehouse party favourites, leading Coldcut to sign her up for their pop smash “People Hold On“. “Time To Make You Mine“, taken from her debut solo album, was treated to a dubbed out blissful remake courtesy of The Orb’s Alex Paterson.
I’ve also included Megauploads of two previously posted shows (I think? I lost track to be honest). Nikki Giovanni’s “Ego Trippin” (lyrics) is a glorious slice of Afrocentric poetry, with Nikki proclaiming:
“On a trip north I caught a cold and blew my nose
giving oil to the Arab world
I am so hip - even my errors are correct”
Finally its the original version of “Television” by industrial punks The Beatnigs, as reworked by The Disposable Heroes Of HipHopcrisy (featured in an earlier Analogue Bye Bye).
For the first 15 minutes, George is no where to be seen, and its left to Garry “Starchild” Shider to lead the funk with more panache than a 55 year old man in a large cloth nappy has any right to. Initially he teams the nappy with shades and the type of jacket not seen since Cameo’s codpiece was causing grannies to choke over tea time top of the pops. However the jacket is soon dispensed with and its just one man at one with his diaper and guitar, he owns the stage during “Funkentelechy” as only the original Cosmic John the Bop-tist can.
Clinton’s voice was perhaps the biggest surprise of the night, his vocal chords seemed to generate so much power that if hooked to the London Eye it’d be less big wheel and more spin dryer. I’d not expected a roar with so much soul, while his spoken voice was more predictably baritone.
So here’s a shot for the appreciation of that lady alone.
Gene ‘”Poo Poo Man” Anderson (God I love these names) led one song as if James Brown was being channeled through his body, and another guitarist who’d come dressed as Zorro was on his knees on the front of the stage by the shows climax.
Aside from Kim Ann, the main vocalist stepping into Hegarty’s shoes is 
One of the albums other highlights, the glorious Hegarty penned “Raise Me Up” kicks off a killer three song section, although to my mind Kim Ann doesn’t quite do the song justice. That’s followed by an inspired take on the Blue Oyster Cults “Don’t Fear The Reaper“, covered by the Beautiful South a few years ago, who knew it could be so effortlessly transported to the Paradise Garage!? Finally the song that first put me under H&LA’s spell 
Leave a comment or email to win my spare copy of one of the all time classics (including 4 bonus tracks). The winner will be decided by a fair but totally random method which I’m yet to make up.
” (MP3 - Megaupload click, dont right click)